The big uur ultimately arrives, and after weeks of romanticising about your future life together and how he is the one amazing fish left ter the sea that means anything to you, you’ll be keen to attempt out his magic technics.

I’ve had a loterijlot of strange dates – from the man who wished $15,000 from mij so that “we could commence our life together” (I didn’t) to the one who wasgoed on the mobile phone working across the entire date. The dating spel is an ambiguous one – everyone puts on their supposedly best behaviour and it’s up to you to figure out your date’s ulterior motives (if there are any) and why no one else has grabbed them very first.

Here’s a handy guide to some of the bad dates I had and what the warning signs were. Tho’ I make a loterijlot of assumptions about personality here, the basic premise could apply to any date, masculine or female, with some petite differences. Spil a woman, I am writing from that perspective, but I’m sure both sexes have bot guilty of similar conduct.

The Deceptive Homeless Masculine Golddigger

This type of date is very common. You’ll meet him on dating sites or through Meetups or Facebook groups. He’s keen to get embarked on a date/relationship and he’s very accepting of you and your foibles. On the very first date he will be dressed up to the nines te his very best (and only) dating garment. It is designed to make you feel that he’s waterput te a loterijlot of effort and that you can be proud of the peacock on your arm. There will be excessive amounts of aftershave sprayed on and lots of flirting and warm conversation.

Via the date, this man comes across spil a caring, empathic and funny person. He indeed is quiebro an apple and strings up onto your every word – you wonder why he’s single and he mentions a few horror stories of dragon women from the past. Beware – all women this man dates will be b*tches, including you, even if you end it after just one date.

Spil time goes on and the dating ritual gathers steam, you’ll be puzzled spil to why your dating locations seem rather humdrum, or why he is jiggling his head at the register after the meal when he thinks you are not looking. But he is so caring and thoughtful when around you, you’re willing to compromise a little.

He seems like the ideal uitzicht for a relationship other than the money punt, but then you’ll notice another warning sign – that he doesn’t drive (usually waterput down to a past traumatic driving incident and/or the fact that he never learnt how) and a third warning sign is that you’ll never get to see his house or his friends or his life. This is because he can’t afford a car, his friends are homeless bums (if he has any) and he doesn’t want you to see the absolute poverty of the sharehouse he lives ter.

If you’re naГЇve enough to proceed beyond this point, you’ll notice that he has a lotsbestemming of women listed on his phone who are all “friends”. He doesn’t seem to be a player at all and genuinely seems to care about you and about the people te his life – what you don’t know is that the women are “contacts” for him to use to drum up more business (the business of using women for accommodation, food and money).

You’ll soon get the hint with this dude because at some point he won’t be able to pay for himself. There’ll be a catastrophe where he is thrown out of his current accommodation, or he cannot go on a date because he is broke or something will present itself and he’ll have to ask you for a favour and it won’t be a little favour, it will be the kleuter of favour that will leave you scraping your head asking “why would he ask mij for that? I’d never ask a date for such a thing!”

Dump him out of your life spil quickly spil possible is my advice and don’t let him wheedle his way back ter again. Thesis types of guys are experts at hustling women for all the things they can’t (or won’t) provide for themselves. They actually hate women at heart and love taking advantage of them.

Mr Magic Fingers

This man seems to suggest a lovely potential relationship when you embark dating him. He’s utter of good conversation, is able to pay his own way and is respectful of you. Overheen the course of a number of dates, he builds you up with flirting and compliments and tells you about his magic fingers (or magic tongue) that have driven all the women he’s dated before mad with excitement and passion. But he’s saving it all especially for you and you’re just going to love it, kind!

The big uur eventually arrives, and after weeks of romanticising about your future life together and how he is the one amazing fish left ter the sea that means anything to you, you’ll be keen to attempt out his magic technologies.

Firstly, he will commence with something that feels finta ordinary and then his magic fingers/magic tongue turn out to be less than thrilling and may even border on being an irritating or painful nightmare. You tell him it would be wonderful if he could just be a bit more gentle or if he could go tighter or concentrate on one particular spot….but he will not listen or pay any attention to your pleadings whatsoever. He’ll just say “well all the other women liked it this way”, and keep on going.

Turns out Mr Magic Fingers merienda pleased ONE woman somewhere and is now living ter a past re-enaction of that script spil he’s not bot able to please anyone else since. It is an obsession. He will not listen or consider you at all ter bedding but will go after his own dietario till the very end, to prove to himself that he’s still “got it”, even however you disagree.

Often you’ll find that this type of man is not that sexy but has personality/wit/money to opoffering, that’s why he’s bothered with all this magic fingers business ter the very first place (he thinks you don’t want him if he doesn’t have frills). The stupid part is that if he treated you like a efectivo person and lived te the present ogenblik instead of using you te a desperate attempt to feel youthful again, he might have had a chance.

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The Scientologist

This man presents spil an intellectual man who can read your mind better than most. He’s possibly beautiful, brainy, funny and shows up to have his life together. You’re thrilled that someone can read your mind and offers the possibility of being truly intimate. You indeed like him and the relationship will travel along at a habitual rhythm. Sometimes he will hint that the secret to his success is something more than just himself, there’ll be mention of a religion or organisation which helped him become the man he is today.

Then, when the time is right, he’ll tell you his little secret – he’s a Scientologist. You’ll be astonished and interested to hear about this hidden world and he might anxiously tell you all about it. Some of it will make logical sense and some of it will make you wonder if he wasgoed born stupid to believe te such cr*p. Anyway, life will go on and if you fight back joining Scientology, you’ll detect some disturbing patterns.

Firstly, your Scientologist will commence making assumptions about you, based upon his confidence with the “mind reading”. You’ll tell him he’s incorrect and his assumptions are not the truth at all, but he won’t listen and will take the attitude that he knows best.

Secondly, you might get to practice some questionable realities at play ter his life – positivo world laws, regulations and rules will not apply te creating the successful individual/business/empire. He will tell you he lives the reality to create it, that he is determined and persistent (even if it cracks the law or manhandles other people).

Thirdly, when something physical ails you or you have ache, you will be told “it’s all ter the mind”. This may very well be the case, but there is no help forthcoming from your fucking partner to assist you ter rectifying the situation, other than stupid suggestions that don’t work.

The Scientologists I have known always aim to succeed, rather than learn (they have to afford all those expensive books and courses). They’re keen to get ahead te life, even if it means leaving you behind. Get out before you wake up next to a total stranger on a power tour, who will not be there for you if times get raunchy.

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